Getting married young

So here I am… giving marriage “advice” as someone who isn’t married yet. Although Kasey and I haven’t officially tied the knot, this is a topic that I am very passionate about.

As many of you know, Kasey and I started dating when we were in high school, 17 to be exact. Never did I think that I would end up marrying my high school sweetheart, not to mention my best friend. When we started dating we didn’t make a timeline for when we would get married. We had NO idea & didn’t know if we’d even make it there. But after years of fighting for one another & lots & lots & lots of prayer…. We made it!

Fast forward about five years later to when Kasey and I officially decided that it was time, and when he proposed (HERE’s the post for that) it was the BEST day of my life.

Being engaged has been one of the most incredible seasons we've ever had. We made the choice(s) and trusted God’s timing to pursue a life with one another and I can confidently say that we have never been happier, more committed, and more full of love than we are in this moment. This planning journey is SO MUCH FUN.

That being said, I have experienced a handful of interesting things about being engaged in my early 20’s. These are the questions and accusations that I get asked the most:

1) How old are you?? Not sure when that became socially acceptable.. This is a question I get the most. Strangers tell me that I’m too young to get married or ask me if I’m “sure” that I want to spend my life with him…

2) Is that ring real? …This one.. You would not believe the look on peoples faces when they see a ring on my finger. I get asked all over the place if my ring is real. Yes, but rude..

3) Do your parents support this? Yes. We were both blessed with families that are incredibly acceptive of us getting married. In fact, there were many months that they would ask KP when he was going to propose LOL!

4) Do you guys live together? We do not currently live together and this is choice that we made years ago. Dating all through college and both living at home, it would have been a wasted expense for us to of moved out within the past few years. We both agreed that we didn’t want to move out until we could buy a house together and we were graduated from college. SO the answer to this question is going to change soon.. :)

5) What are you going to do if one of you change? I hope that we change… I wouldn’t want to stay 22 forever. I think this question is so funny. Over the past five years we’ve both grown so much in ways that I am SO thankful for. It sounds cheesy but I loved him then, I love him now, & I’ll love him later.

6) Why hurry? I understand this question, why rush if you know you want to spend your life together. But the opposite is also true and one of my favorite things ever.. Why wait? If you know, you know.

Ultimately, nothing is more important than our faith & our relationship. Not money, status, careers, and especially not other peoples opinions.

These questions will continue, people will always judge what we (or anyone) will do and in every phase of life, we are going to go through things that others are not.

BUT I would say that this has been the most difficult part about all of this. I am so so so blessed with the group of friends that I have ( you know who you are) I would be nothing without them and they really do keep me sane. But that all being said, none of them are getting married anytime soon (or engaged)!!! So it’s been really hard to relate to my friends being that I’m the first one to go through this. Lucky for me, they all give us all of the support we could have ever asked for and then some. They’ve been so helpful with the planning process and being all of my go-to’s BUT there’s something fun about going through the same thing as your best friends & unfortunately that’s not the case right now.

It’s hard to make such a huge commitment when the whole world has so many negative connotations with marriage in general, let alone in your early 20’s. The truth is we don’t have all of the answers. We don’t know every decision that we are going to make throughout our lives nor do we have a “plan” but I think that’s the beauty of it.

Our relationship or life is not perfect. Period. But what I do know is that when it’s your time, when you’ve found the person you’re supposed to spend your life with, God will make it so apparent to you that you won’t feel like there is another option.

It is not my right, or societies right to prescribe a timeline for everyone to get married. That’s why I don’t get upset when people feel the need to question our relationship.

There isn’t a person on this planet that I would rather spend my life with than the man that I have the privilege of marrying.

SO..

Don’t let the world make you hard, people are going to talk no matter what you do. & you know my favorite thing of all about getting married young? I get to explore and grow WITH my (soon-to-be) husband. We get to learn together, travel together, go through the not so fun parts of life together, and experience the beauty in e v e r y season TOGETHER!! What sounds better than that?

Marriage was never expected to be easy, just worth it.

I have found the one my soul loves. Song of Solomon 3:4

Can’t wait to marry my soulmate and start our crazy little life. & yes, I’m only 22

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Maddie Stanton